Team villains except me

Chapter 500 Unable to Offset

Irene's worries were not valid issues for Musa.

She was very familiar with De Ling. De Ling had shown her kindness since she returned to Lanier, and De Ling had been helping her in the years that followed. This help had gone beyond the scope of normal friends, and in many critical moments, De Ling would betray the royal family and the king to protect her.

She asked why. De Ling was only a few years older than her, but he always took care of her as an elder.

De Ling never gave a very definite answer. So Musa thought that De Ling must hate Lanier too. She almost became a beast warrior, so De Ling must also be hoping that she can fly away, or...

Musa has a very clear understanding of her own value. There are clear prices on the countless olive branches thrown to her. She certainly knows that this kindness is not free, but over the years, De Ling has no expectations of her and has not made any demands.

DeLing did not charge her any compensation.

Like now.

Musa looked at De Ling, she stared at De Ling's slightly protruding belly, words lingered on the tip of her tongue, and finally fell heavily. She had just told De Ling about her plan, and her attention was on herself, and now, in the gap between De Ling's thoughts, she noticed De Ling's physical condition.

De Ling is nurturing a life.

This is strange.

The Deling she knew once sneered that she would never be the kind of mother that Lanier wanted. But she had never thought about who she would be a mother to, and she didn't have that kind of awareness. She had no experience.

Things change. Life is worn away by time.

"Musa, I support you, but I hope you understand that once you get involved in these things, you will be at great risk. I don't want you to touch politics or this kind of reform. I did join an organization, but I don't plan to make any changes.

I also heard some rumors... not rumors, but your students and Franche. They are very restless, and I don't think they are good. I think you need to draw a line between them, but it's obvious that you won't do it. Sometimes your sense of responsibility appears inexplicably. If you really have a job or really reach that position and need to take action, it's understandable-"

"I will always be involved. Deling, if I have to choose, then I choose to join your organization. I believe in you."

Deling froze.

After a long time, she wiped her face.

"I see. Wait for me to ask Franche in two days. I don't need you to do anything for now, Musa, you shouldn't trust me. You also know that I am a member of the royal family of Lanier. I serve the king. I am not a good person."

"But you were very nice to me."

"Musha, I'm not being nice to you for no reason."

"what is the reason."

Musa's voice was calm because she knew De Ling would change the subject. She had asked this question many times in the past years. De Ling would not answer, never.

De Ling opened her mouth, but no words came out. Guilt stirred her stomach, making her feel nauseous and want to vomit out her heart and lungs. But she suppressed this uncomfortable reaction without changing her expression. She patted her belly, as if threatening her unborn offspring.

Musa understood De Ling’s actions.

She tilted her head and asked De Ling.

"you are pregnant."

De Ling nodded and avoided Musa's gaze.

"Yes. I forgot to tell you. It's not a big deal. I need a child."

"I understand. You also told me at the time that I needed a child."

Musa looked straight at De Ling. She was not resentful or suspicious, she was just worried because it completely broke her previous thoughts and some emotions were out of control.

But De Ling never dared to look at Musa. Musa's eyes were too pure for her. Her guilt accumulated day by day and almost overwhelmed her. She needed to share the pressure, she needed to talk, she needed an ally she could trust and control.

Her offspring met these criteria.

But the pressure and physiological reaction of childbirth changed her mentality. She felt disgusted, panicked, and increasingly anxious.

Musa stood in front of her, like a beautiful dream that she had ruined. She was too young at the time, and she was trying her best to prove her ability so that she would not be abandoned and married off as a tool.

"Musa."

De Ling raised her head. She glanced at Musa quickly, then looked away.

"I thought...I hoped you could forgive me."

Musa was a little confused.

"Because of what?"

“…I can’t tell.”

Musa suddenly understood at some point. It was easy to guess, after all, Deling was Lanier's princess.

"Does it have anything to do with me being forced to go back to Lanier?"

De Ling's face suddenly turned pale. She looked at Musa in shock, thinking that Musa knew what happened in the past, but she soon realized that Musa had only guessed a little.

That alone doesn't even begin to describe the evil she's done.

“About that. Musa…it was my idea to have you go back to Lanier.

I was... I was so stupid. I was desperate to prove that I was useful, and I didn't want to be traded like a commodity to an eagle. So when they were looking for ways to kill you, I said, we can trick you back to Lanier. They finally chose my plan.

You shouldn't have forgiven me. Musa, I'm sorry. I ruined you. I ruined your family. I... didn't dare tell you."

It turned out that she had already been paid before.

Musa thought she had finally found the answer that De Ling had never asked her for. But she was not happy.

"Just proposed a plan, Deling."

She wondered what other role Deling played.

De Ling’s face turned pale and she said she couldn’t say it.

Musa looked out the window calmly. Time diluted the hatred, and her emotions became vague and quiet. She didn't care about many things, so little that she couldn't really stir up any waves.

She didn't really let go. She just couldn't help it.

The bandages she'd used to heal her wounds lay in a mess somewhere inside her body, and the scabs from her wounds were swimming in her blood.

Sometimes she was so tired that she wanted to let it all go. She just needed an answer - as long as she got an answer, she could let it go.

She had forgotten whether her mother really loved her. She wanted to know when she and her mother separated. At the beginning, was it because she noticed her mother's expectations that she started to exercise, or was it because her mother saw her potential and did her best to support her?

Is getting out of Lanier a common wish between her and her mother, or is it a goal she imagined herself?

Questions keep coming up, but answers lag far behind.

Musa spoke lazily.

"Deling, if you were me, would you forgive yourself? I don't know what else you did, but you know."

Yes.

De Ling thought, she knew all the details of her despicable behavior. She did many things, and she didn't consider the consequences at the time. However, when she saw Musa, she knew she was wrong.

But she didn't hesitate. She looked at Persila and didn't hesitate.

"I won't forgive you. Musa, don't forgive me, hate me, and treat me as your most hated enemy."

De Ling said this, her voice lacking any rise or fall of tone, and every word that came out of her mouth sounded like a stuck gear turning with difficulty.

Musa listened quietly. She wanted to say a lot. She wanted to say that the person she hated the most was definitely not De Ling. She knew what had prompted De Ling to do that. She knew who was the culprit, and she was grateful for De Ling's care for her. De Ling had been helping her since she returned to Lanier.

But it was DeLing who brought her back to Lanier. She wanted to say that she couldn't forgive DeLing, that she couldn't just let it go without any grudges.

It seemed that everyone had their own reasons. They were not the ones who caused this suffering, and they were all in pain. But Percilla would not see her, Deling deceived her, and Loretta pushed her away.

They were all hurting her.

She didn't want to say anything.

Words meant nothing. Nothing she said would change reality.

"If you think it would make you feel better if I said I forgive you, I would."

Musa said seriously, her eyes wandering across the smooth floor. She now felt that Deling had become strange and needed to be wary. She had lost another friend. A friend she could completely trust, almost like a family member.

At this moment, she could understand why some female eagles were afraid of change, because she now felt that it was not bad to be deceived. If she had not asked De Ling today, perhaps De Ling would not have told her about the past that made her uncomfortable.

De Ling remained silent. Guilt sealed her throat and made her suffer from aphasia.

Musa took a step back and turned away.

The air was damp and the sky was gloomy. The sound of flapping wings rang in her ears, and she moved her wrist.

"…No deal? You turned your wrist."

Valerie stood under the tree, folded her arms and looked at her with a smile.

Musa's expression relaxed. She walked up to Valerie and asked her why she was here.

"I'm worried about you. After all, De Ling is working for our great king. I don't believe her, but I know you don't think so. You are a frozen can of fish nuggets. You are really not suitable to deal with De Ling."

Valerie pulled her coat closer to her chest and took Musa's arm. She spoke with a hint of autumnal weariness.

"The weather is getting colder. Musa, after this month, I want to take Loretta to Remiaz to see you. The winter in Lanier is really very, very boring. After you take a vacation, we can take Loretta to the southern continent. Yalinxiu and the two children she brought with her said that the southern continent is very suitable for wintering.

Loretta has never been there, so she can't get a word in. I haven't been to the southern continent either, have you been there?"

Musa shook her head. She suddenly thought of something.

“…Pescilla hasn’t been there either.”

Valerie was stunned for a moment, then she nodded helplessly.

"Yes, she has definitely never been there either. When the time comes, ask her if she wants to go. But I don't like her, and she doesn't like me, I can feel it."

Musa nodded. She had no way to refute. There were certain differences between the mother she knew and the current Persila.

"I don't know what to have for dinner. I'm the only one at home right now, Irene and Loretta. Will your other students come back tonight? You're leaving from Fort Sue together, right? Hug Loretta when you leave, you haven't talked to her much this week..."

Valerie kept talking.

This is a habit that has been formed over a long period of time. Because there is a long gap between them, Valerie will share her recent life with her the first time she sees her. She also needs a response, no matter how boring her life is, she will find something slightly interesting to respond to Valerie.

The easiest one to talk about is the food court behind Abersig College.

In the darkest time for her, it was this exchange that made her feel alive, that she could still feel alive. She needed to be listened to, to express herself, to eat. So did Valerie.

The most difficult time is over.

Musa hugged Valerie.

"sorry."

Valerie looked at Musa and shook her head heavily.

"You said it wrong. You should have said 'thank you'. Then you should have told me what you and Deling talked about. I want to know why you are so upset."

There were few secrets between Musa and Valerie.

Musa did not hide her conversation with Deling, but at the end, Valerie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Valerie seemed to be unable to listen any more.

"Musha, don't date De Ling anymore! I really am-- Never mind, it will be over soon. It's only half a month. Let's go home and have dinner."

Valerie ended the topic hastily.

She looked angry. Musa thought it was directed at Deling. But she got her answer after dinner when she and Loretta were awkwardly trying to find a topic to talk about.

The only topic of discussion between the mother and daughter, who were not yet completely familiar with each other, was "Valerie".

Loretta knew what Valerie was angry about.

"She often prays to the Beast God. She hopes that life will be kind to you and not let you get hurt again. She is willing to bear that for you.

She's not doing well. Neither are you. She thought she might be able to make up for it for you, but she hasn't."

Loretta glanced at Musa and leaned slightly toward her.

"Valerie realized it too late. I knew it wasn't going to work."